A Legacy

Fun, laughter, happiness, smiles, stories, conversation, togetherness, sadness, grief, mourning and acceptance are just a few of the words I will use to describe this past week.

On October 20th we loaded up the truck and camper and drove to the lake with several members of the family. We had such a good time. We played cards and dominoes, ate meals together, carved a few pumpkins, roasted marshmellows, enjoyed the beautiful view of the lake, shared stories and had many meaningful conversations. When we arrived home I told Russ that this particular camping trip had been my favorite thus far. I didnt know if it was the combination of beautiful weather, Analayne being old enough to truly enjoy herself, or if it was just the "connectedness" I felt with each member of the family that had been present. Quite possibly it was all of these factors.

When we arrived back home the following Monday, we said good-bye to family and drove to our house to begin the laborous afternoon of unpacking, cleaning things up etc. However, around 8:45 Russ's cell phone rang, his brother was calling to share some very bad news. Russ's granddaddy had died. We were shocked. Literally 7 hours earlier we had stood in his driveway hugging and saying good-bye. I thought to myself, how could this be? We had just had such a great time together. On Tuesday while Russ was with his family handling some arrangements, I sat at home filled to the brim with emotions. While Analayne was napping (thank goodness she slept for almost 2 hours) I tried my best to gather my thoughts and I wrote (that is what deep thinkers with an inclination towards writing do...) below is some of what I wrote. I think it describes my feelings best.

I am a writer. In most instances I am able to get my feelings out on paper better than in words and in the midst of sadness, this is no exception. I first met granddaddy when I began dating Russ. Even from the earliest point in my relationship with Russ, I was told about Granddaddy. Russ told me about the many experiences he had already shared with his granddaddy, such as camping trips, working on cars, tales about a truck, and fishing excursions...just to name a few. I knew those were sacred times. I knew from the intensity of the words, the non-verbal cues, and Russ’s body language that when he spoke about his granddaddy he felt loved and cherished every experience, conversation and moment of laughter he shared with this special man. I knew that Granddaddy was rock solid to Russ. I knew that there was nothing that would ever stand in the way of the relationship that they shared.

As time progressed and as Russ and I eventually married, I too experienced Granddaddy’s genuine and true loving nature. He was intentional in his actions and unconditional in the way he loved. Granddaddy accepted me and it was clear that I had nothing to prove. Granddaddy knew that I loved his grandson and that was all that he ever expected. He knew that I was as genuine in my love for Russ as he was towards Granny. Once Analayne was born he fell in love with her too. There was never a time that I don’t recall pulling up in the driveway, barely getting my vehicle in “park” before Granddaddy appeared at Analayne’s door ready to carry her into the house. He loved for her to sit in his lap. You could see the charm in his eyes when Analayne would read him books about llamas or horses. Just about a month or so ago, Analayne began yelling out “Gannnnieee, Ganddaddy” (most recently the name had changed to Pap). If we ever drove past the intersection that led to their house and did not stop, she would let us know about it. She loved going to their house. She loved that he would hold her up high and let her look at the birdhouses and wind chimes. She loved that Granny and Granddaddy would let her stomp in their leaves and run through their flower beds, never once becoming annoyed or complaining that she could be handful.

Granddaddy loved fairly. He never played favorites. I always admired that about him. What he did for one, he would be willing to do for all. He was never manipulative and he was always sacrificial. He would give you the shirt off his back if he knew it would help. I always loved the impromptu conversations that I would share with Granddaddy and Granny when I was at their home. I could trust them. I could always be “real” with them. I always felt welcome in their home. I could come right on in, kick my feet up, grab a pack of crackers or chocolate covered raisins and make myself at home. There are very few people that create this level of comfort for their guests but they managed to do this not only for me but for everyone.

I must say that Granddaddy was the most loving grandfather figure I have ever had the opportunity to be around. My mother’s dad was killed in a zinc mine before I was born and my father’s dad has always been distant and stern with his grandchildren, which makes it very difficult to ever establish a deep relationship. The experience to develop this unique grand-father/grand-daughter relationship has been such a thrill to me. About two years ago, after Russ finished school at Nashville Auto Diesel, I wrote a letter to Granddaddy. It was the first time I had ever “gone out on a limb” and shared some of my deepest thoughts and gratitude with someone other than Russ or my parents. I am so thankful that I did that. I am so thankful that I was able to reveal my transparency in the form of written words on paper. Russ mentioned to me last night that he wished he had done more. He wished he had given him one last hug and told him that he loved him one last time before we drove away upon returning from the lake. I reminded Russ that he was holding Analayne and that Analayne was giving out the hugs and kisses, but deep inside I knew what Russ meant. There is always that normal, retrospective desire to go back and do something differently. We would all probably have done something differently if we had known what was to come. I doubt that Russ knew that I wrote that letter to Granddaddy. However, as my dear sweet husband wrestles with the emotions of wishing he could go back and tell his granddaddy one more time how special and important he was, I want Russ to know that Granddaddy already knew it. He knew it from all previous actions and words. However, Russ should not ever feel that his granddaddy didn’t know how special he was to Russ. I made sure that I wrote about that in the letter.

Today, I feel so very sad. Selfishly, I am sad that my dear sweet husband will no longer get to spend countless hours working, talking and “playing” in the barn with his precious granddaddy. I am sad that we just experienced the last camping trip weekend with granddaddy. I am sad that Analayne has already read him his very last book. I am sad that Granny has lost her husband. I am sad that Mike and Mary have lost their daddy. I am sad that all the grand children and great grand children have lost their granddaddy, or Pap as many called him. I am sad. I know that he is sitting at Jesus’s feet right now and I should be happy that he can now enjoy heaven. However, selfishly I don’t feel anything other than sadness. Granddaddy will be missed by so many. There will definitely be a void that no human being will ever be able to fill. Granddaddy was loved by so many and will be greatly missed.

Though it has been a very difficult week we share a happiness that granddaddy is in heaven and that he never had to suffer a long and painful death. Granddaddy meant so much to everyone and he left a legacy! Posted below are some of the pictures taken during the weekend camping trip that we shared with him.

A Visit To The Farm

Last Saturday we headed to Gentry's farm to experience some good ol' farm activities! We got to take a hay ride, pick out a pumpkin, play in the corn and grain trough, swing on the tire swing and say hello to the goats, ducks, cows, hens and roosters. Analayne loved it and well... so did we! Check out my new slide show...

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

NO MAE...

Since Analayne's birth she has periodically heard me say "no Mae...NO!" to our cat. Usually when I am saying this the cat has gotten in the house and has decided to scratch at the carpet or attempt to get on the ledge above our sink. Typically when I am reprimanding the cat I clap my hands or yell at her really loud. I knew I was doing this but if you want something to come back and HAUNT you....then have a child and watch them imitate you. There is nothing like your sweet little cutie-pie imitating you as she runs all over the front yard, yelling "no Mae" and clapping her hands (you will notice in the picture that Mae has left our property to join the neighbors). However, if Mae knew better she would have realized that the neighbors have two little girls---which means they can yell louder and chase her longer!

I know pets are good for kids (or let me clarify that statement for my household.... "A PET" is good for a child). Child development research continually shows that a child that is exposed to animals in a loving and caring environment develops the ability to show compassion, care for others, develop skills of responsibility etc. In addition, some research has shown that children exposed to pets at an early age tend to develop less allergies.

I was born into a family with a cat. When my brother was 2 he wanted a pet (a dog...) but at the time money was tight for my parents and apparently my dad knew of someone that had a young cat for free. I guess, free was the key word and so that became the family pet. This cat happened to live for almost 23 years! As a young child I would dress her up and put her in my doll stroller and push her around. She would meow and look at me in distress, but nonetheless she endured. I am convinced that she knew that in her geriatric years I would be the one that would advocate for her. Even on her last day on earth (she was VERY Sick, unable to move, and in the long process of dying) it was me that wrapped her up in a towel, cried all the way to the vet and made the humane decision to free her of pain and sickness.

When Analayne finished yelling "no Mae..." and running around the yard, I watched as Analayne in her two-year old way began to play with the cat. She carried little rocks and twigs over to her and put them in a pile in front of her, each time saying, "here oouuuu go." I envision that it won't be long until Mae is being pushed around the yard or down the sidewalk in the wagon or doll stroller and when that happens I am not sure if I will cry or laugh myself crazy and wet my pants!

Play Is A Child's Work!

So what have we been doing the last few weeks you might ask? Well, we have been playing and we have been on the GO!

I joined Bible Study Fellowship and it has been really great. I get to learn about the book of Matthew and Analayne gets to attend the 2-year old class where they do fun Bible based play and activities. Last week when I picked her up she was singing a song and doing some hand motions with it that they must have been singing. I never could figure out what song it was, but I could tell that she was happy and had enjoyed her class. This week when I picked her up she kept saying the words "little baby" and she would clasp her hands together and rock her arms back and fourth. After I read the parents take home sheet from her class I learned that the teaching topic from the morning was, Jesus was born a baby. It all made sense! The BSF children's teachers so good. BSF takes pride in the quality of their adult and children's programs and this is very evident by the way the teachers are always prepared, how they interact with the children and how they go the extra mile and take extra effort to greet each child at the door (sometimes using a little distraction....like a puppet). I cannot stress how great and incredible the last two weeks have been for both Analayne and me!

On Tuesdays our Church's preschool group have been doing some really fun "play mornings." We meet up at the designated location and let the kids play or take part in the planned activity. Thus far we have been to Chuckee Cheese, the park and Sting Ray Reef. Analayne loved the sting ray fish and the fabulous unlimited carousel rides!

We are ready for some cooler fall weather (I am sure you feel somewhat the same). We really enjoy being outside when we are not sweating to death. I plan on not taking for granted any beautiful fall weather we might get. Analayne loves to be pulled around in our wagon. She also had a great time going from one outdoor toy or ride on car to another (giving each toy about a 25 second try). Analayne has also recently discovered that our neighbors have two little girls and she loves to play outside with them. As you can see life is busy but we are both learning so much.

If you ever wonder where we are or what we are doing you can bet that we are either "on the go" or outside playing!

5 Highlights

1. Analayne has been introduced to Disney characters (by her daddy...of course). She loves Mickey and Donald Duck and gets very excited when she sees either of them. She calls Donald Duck D-Duck (pronounced just like it is spelled). Its funny to hear her get excited and loudly proclaim, D-Duck...D-Duck. We are now getting her ready for a possible trip to Disney!

2. When Analayne uses her potty, I get some toilet paper off the roll and as I help her wipe I say, "dabble dabble.." Well this week she surprised me and tucked her little hands under her arm-pits and said, "gobble gobble" and flapped them like a turkey. Hilarious! Apparently, we are getting ready for the upcoming Thanksgiving Turkey Day!

3. Many times at night as we put Analayne to bed, I tuck her in and kneel down beside her and say, "want to talk?" She would start whispering and talking but many times I could not understand everything she was saying (but it was cute anyway). I would often understand peoples names or she would start talking about her doll, Lolly. Well, this past week as we have begun the process of tucking her into bed, she has started saying, "lets talk.... talk....mama talk.." Of course I just kneel down and say, "okay, what would you like to talk about?" I can always see her wheels spinning in her little brain and I LOVE THAT!

4. We love to use our pens, crayons, markers and any paper, receipt or piece of mail available to create our masterpieces. Today at the post office I let her fill out a delivery confirmation slip and I let her hand it to the postal employee (she was so proud and of course the postal employee just thought she was precious and took the slip and pretended to use it). It was very cute!

5. The other day we were using post-its and a pen and I wrote out the letter "A" on one of the post-its. As I wrote the letter I said, "this is the letter A." Analayne repeated me and then wrote out her own letter "A" on another post-it. Now anytime she has a pen & a piece of paper she says, "A" and makes some lines (they actually resemble an "A". This little pumpkin will be writing her name out very soon (get ready everybody....here comes my sarcasm.... "and everyone told me that she would never learn to spell her name..." Oh, you silly people!)

The funny things a 2-year old will do...

I can't imagine how standing or sitting right up close to the television screen would be comfortable. However, Analayne must think it is because she is notorious for getting too close and she becomes mesmorized. Apparently this is a very common thing amongst preschool aged children, since many of the mothers of Analayne's friends have also shared with me that their children do this exact same thing! I guess its especially good that I don't really let her watch much more than 30-45 minutes of television a day. Sitting too close to the television screen must be a "written rule" in the beloved toddler rule-book (written by the lasik surgery guru, Ming-Wang!).

We are potty trained...and other updates from the week!

Okay...Okay...Okay... I realized that not everyone really cares about potty training but indulge me for a few minutes...please!

About 2 weeks ago I began reading up on potty training tactics. However, I must make a "disclosure statement" and let everyone know that I am not really one of those Mommy's who "goes straight by the book" when it comes to my child. It is extremely helpful that my educational background is in child development and child life, but as a mommy I just like to take one day at a time. I do find that I can learn great amounts of interesting information from reading the works of some trusted research and utilizing some great resources (T.Berry Brazelton & the American Academy of Pediatrics...to name a few). However, only so much can be retained or truly put into practice when it comes to the individuality of each child! I try my best to be "as in touch" with Analayne's growth, intellectually, physically, emotionally, developmentally and spiritually and I think that the most vital way to help her grow and develop at her own pace is to watch her cues!

With that said, I started watching her closely and noticed that she was showing interest in learning how to use her potty. She could say vital words such as "pee-pee" and "poo-poo" and her attention span was capable of lasting several minutes. She had also already shown me (many months previously) that she knew how to relax her muscles to allow herself to pee-pee, a vital part of being able to sit on the potty and get something to happen! However, even though these cues were evident, Russ and I would need to create a potty training game plan.

I bought a baby doll that had a potty and could go "pee-pee" and I created a sticker page for the refrigerator. In addition, I bought her some tiny panties with Elmo, pink horses and some with kitty-cats on them. I also created a "prize" system, based on getting two little M&M's or Skittles after each successful attempt---which has worked really well (as she now cares very little for the candy but still wants to go potty). To top it off, I became the worlds best cheerleader! Imagine me proclaiming with delight something like this, "yeah--- you did it. You can pee-pee in the potty." This plan has been very successful for us and within a day or two she really had the hang of it all. Today at church she even told her teacher "pee-pee" and they grabbed her up ran to the restroom and she proceeded to show off her new trick! We are proud parents and our budget is all the better for it too. YEAH Analayne...Way to GO!

Other FUN and Interesting moments that occurred this week:

**Analayne locked her mommy out of the house on Saturday. I was running to the mailbox (which takes me less than 10 seconds) and she decided to come to the door to watch but locked the glass door. When I got back up to the door there she was standing in front of the glass with nothing but her undies on. I tried for quite sometime to get her to unlock the door. She tried but kept turning the knob the opposite direction. Needless to say, I figured it all out and got back in the house...but it took about 15 minutes. The lesson I learned was... take her with me to the mailbox (or get a full time nanny to watch her 24/7). I'm opting for the nanny's help but Russ said, "that is not an option." I guess I am the nanny! Oh well...I tried :)

**Analayne proclaims at least 100 times a day the phrase, "Daddy go to work." Just in case I ever forget where Russ is during the work week she can remind me.

**Every time the phone rings, Analayne thinks her aunt Candace is calling and wants to talk on the phone. This gets really interesting when a real-estate client or the southwest airlines representative calls and they can hear her adamant desire to talk to Candace in the background. On that note...I want to take a moment to thank my friend Camille for being willing to "talk" on the phone with my 2-year old. With 3 kids of her own, I am sure she would rather not hear another preschoolers chit chat but since Camille has a heart of gold, she endures and does so with an energetic spirit. Mimi you should also get an award!

More to come in the weeks ahead!